How can this be?
by Irvine Leonhart
Summary: These feelings inside me…they cannot be mine. A mere human needs love not me…but-" Wesker thinks about an emotion called Love and the person who may be the only one who can control him. Guess the pairing!


Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters's Capcom does.  
This story contains Yaoi, I've warned you. Stop reading if you don't like or don't agree with yaoi.  
  
If your still here enjoy my little story. Try and guess the two people Wesker is with/was with. It's very easy!

Just clear something before we start this story is set in December 1998

How can this be?  
  
Why do people feel the need for this over rated emotion known as love? What good can love bring? Let me tell you, it doesn't bring anything but heartache.

I didn't become one of the most important scientist's of Umbrella inc. by being in love. I never became captain of S.T.A.R.S Alpha team by being in love. I reached my goal; I became number one through hard work, dedication and commitment to my jobs.

I shut it all out, every single possible emotion that would pull me back, drag me down or ruin my chance of success. Love is the same as suffocation, it smothers you until you can't breathe, killing you slowly and painfully. I had no room for love, nor kindness or any kind of relationship.  
  
_Ever since he maliciously threw me away._  
  
I remember the day so vividly the twelfth of January 1986. I was twenty six years old. It was a Thursday night, dark and bitter, winds howling against the windows causing them to rattle like bones shattering. I had my black jumper and jeans on under my long white lab coat, and of course my sunglasses. I can remember the smell of sterilizer made it hard to breathe, I tried to look professional about it and keep my cool after all I had a reputation to uphold, I had been working there for eight years and I was renowned for my nothing phases me attitude. I was tired; I can still feel the sudden wave of urgency to get out of that room when I felt his hand grasp my shoulder tightly. I knew what was coming. There and then, it was in his touch. The very feeling of sadness and regret that he was going through I could feel from his slightest touch. Not wanting to hear his voice, hear his words I didn't turn around but he pulled me back to face him as I tried to escape to the elevator.

It was strange to see him looking at me like that, as if he were inspecting me, for flaws perhaps? Who knows...I don't even think he knew.  
Still holding onto my right shoulder he reached up and barely touched my cheek with his fingertips. The lightest touch burned deep inside my skin, the sensation of being wanted crawled over me like some damn spider. But I knew I wasn't wanted.

His eyes lowered to the floor, my heart began to beat faster, I was right...something was wrong. I tried to speak but he cut me off, placing his lips to mine. Soft and loving, he kissed me giving every last ounce of love he held.

But just as quickly as he had placed his lips to mine he pulled away. I opened my eyes once again, my sunglasses darkening his face but I could still see the pain in his expression as he spoke.

"I'm sorry Wesker but that's the last kiss I can give you"

And that was the end of my very first relationship. Two years I had been more committed to him than even that of my work. There was no need, I knew he'd throw me away someday, but for the time, I liked the thought of being wanted.

We remained friends of course but I became colder, crueler and more wrapped up in experiments than my own emotions...feelings...needs and wants. I kept thinking that somehow his leaving was my fault. So I decided to never let that happen again, a sign of weakness that I would never show.

My plan worked for a while. No feelings of remorse or guilt as I led the S.T.A.R.S to their deaths. If anything locking out human contact made me a little psychotic. I doubled crossed both S.T.A.R.S and Umbrella. I'm known as a traitor, I'm notorious throughout the world. That's the way I wanted to stay, but _he _won't let me.

These feelings inside me...they cannot be mine. A mere human needs love not me...but-

I shuffle further down my sofa to get comfortable. I hear myself sigh as I remove my sunglasses and rub down my aching eyes. Lack of sleep is not good for anyone, not even a devishly good looking immortal bio weapon such as myself. The door slams and I hear footsteps getting closer. A strange feeling comes over me every time. That same feeling I had with my first love, nauseas, nervous and even fear. Yes I, Albert Wesker have one simple fear. I can feel my heart pounding faster, beating viciously and jumping into my throat every chance it gets.

Closing my eyes I feel a body descended on top of mine, the weight a comforting feel, his head resting on my chest moving with the rise and fall of my breathing. I begin to run my fingers through his long-ish brown hair...contentment however...I don't want the commitment, I don't want to protect others, and I want to be alone. I need to be the evil sadistic bastard everyone believes I am. But around him, everything changes. He's so young, naïve maybe even innocent. A cheeky young man in his very early twenty's who makes me laugh and smile. If I was told I had to give up everything and become a dentist just to keep him, I would but believe me I don't practically like teeth. That's what frightens me about him; he has this hold on me. A lock that not even I can destroy. He owns me, but he belongs to me.

I feel his breathing above my face, the warmth from his mouth as it captures mine. He bites at my bottom lip, nibbling gently coaxing my lips apart with his tongue. I open my mouth in acceptance letting him suck and lick my tongue as I do the same to him. My trousers tightening with every moan he murmurs, he trails his hand up my shirt and rubs his finger tips around my left nipple. I can't help but gasp as he begins to rock his hips ever so slightly, grinding them down into mine.

It hits me like a strike of lighting, a thousand volts of panic. I was right, he has a control over me and I am at his every command.

As fast as I can move I reach up and wrap my leather glad hand around his tanned neck and propelled him across the room with an unrealistic strength. He smashes against the wall then collapses in a heap on the floor. He stirs but is in pain, I can see it in his hazel eyes as the glaze over but refuse to let. Slowly, I reach for him pinning him hard against the wall. Spine smacking on brick he winces in pain but I ignore his small cry. He avoids my eyes, looks solidly at the ground so grasping his chin I force his eyes to look into mine.

"Why do you insist on staying with me?" I hiss. "I am not the person who you think I am!"

He chokes out another plea and I release my hold on him, he drops to the floor again but doesn't give in. Touching my face I feel that same burn, but it's more powerful, like a full flame engulfing my entire body. "I love you Albert" his foreign accent tinged the sentence.

Grabbing his cheeks gently I pull him closer to me and wrap my arms around him, leaning down and kissing his trembling lips I mutter my apology and maybe just maybe I could mutter those three words to him...just not yet.

Author note: Easy pairings right? Go on tell me who you think they are! I know it wasn't very good but hey it was a spur of the moment thing. Hope you enjoyed it anyway.


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